Title: Truths Revealed
Category: post-ep, VA, I like to consider this both shipper and non-shipper friendly, but since I am a shipper, itís probably more romantic than most people would like it. Suck it up.
Summary: What happened after Scully and Mulder left their burnt office
Spoilers: "The End", itsy-bitsy ones for "Apocrypha/Blessing Way" and "Travelers"
Disclaimer: I am not making a profit off of this-but I sure wish I were. However, if suing a destitute college graduate who has $16,125 in loans to pay off to Catholic University and the federal government would make the bigwigs at 1013 or Fox feel better, go ahead. Far be it for me to make some TV executive miserable.
It was well past midnight when Dana Scully finally arrived home. Shutting the door behind her, she leaned on it with a sigh.
It had been a hell of a day. No, scratch that. It had been a hell of a week.
Sighing, she took off her white coat and hung it up on a coatrack. It smelled faintly of smoke, and she hoped it would go away in a few days without having to have it dry cleaned. She wanted that smell to go away, to erase it from her clothes and her mind..........and with it, maybe the past few days would go as well.
She shed her clothes in her bedroom, putting her pants in the dry clean hamper and her shirt in the laundry hamper. She pulled on some old flannel pajama bottoms and her worn Terps sweatshirt and went back to the living room, where she plunked herself down on the sofa.
Hugging a throw pillow, Dana Scully did something she almost never did-she cried. Silent sobs racked her body as the events of the past week replayed themselves over and over in her mind like a movie.
Diana Fowley being assigned to the case with them. The car ride to the psychiatric institute where Gibson was being held. Gibsonís kidnapping. Finding out Diana was Mulderís former partner and "chickadee". Their removal from the X-Files. Their office being burned almost beyond recognition. Mulderís non-response to her desperate, disbelieving, shell-shocked hug. Each scene played in her mind, as though in slow motion, and caused the ache in her stomach to grow.
That night, Dana Scully cried for Mulder and the loss of his files, for Gibson and the loss of his childhood and possibly his life......but most importantly, she cried for herself, because she was sure she had lost the most important thing in her life-her partner. Or at least it felt that way.
A knock on the door woke Scully with a jolt. It took her a moment to realize that she had fallen asleep on her couch, and that someone was knocking on her door. Rubbing her red-rimmed and bloodshot eyes, she stood up and answered the door, knowing it was Mulder without even having to look through the peephole.
"Hi," he said. "Can I come in?"
She opened the door wider to allow him to enter. He sat on the couch.
"I came by to make sure you were okay."
"Mulder, Iím fine." Her voice was even, but she knew her red eyes and undoubtedly blotchy face would give her away. She sat in the big armchair, which was as far away as she could get without being in another room.
"You look like hell, Scully." He smiled as he said the words, trying to sound playful.
Her voice was as icy as the look she gave him. "Gee, thanks. You donít exactly look as fresh as a daisy yourself."
She could see the hurt in his hazel eyes as his face reacted to her out of character comment. "Is something wrong, Scully?" he asked. "Have I done something to make you angry-"
She sighed. "Iím tired. Itís been a long day. All I want is to go to sleep." She stood up and walked to her door, hoping he would take the hint.
He stood up, but instead of leaving he grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to look into his face. "Youíve been crying."
"Contrary to popular belief, Mulder, I do have feelings."
"NO," he said sarcastically. When he saw the hurt in her eyes, he knew he had made a decidedly wrong move.
"Get out," she said quietly but with force.
"No," he replied. "Not until you tell me why you are in such a shitty mood. I came over here to make sure you were okay, I try to be nice and all I get is crap. I think I deserve an explanation."
"YOU deserve an explanation!" she exploded. "Iím the one who deserves an explanation here! Why didnít you tell me about Diana? That she had been your original partner on the X-Files? That you used to be....." she trailed off.
Mulderís eyes widened. "Who told you?"
"It doesnít matter. Why didnít you tell me?"
He sighed and sat back down on her couch. "I didnít think it mattered."
"Didnít matter because it was in the past, or didnít matter because you didnít want me to know?" She stood in front of him, arms crossed and eyes accusing.
"Thatís not fair, Scully, and you know it."
She laughed. "Look whoís talking fair here! When someone from my past shows up, you run background checks and are on full Mulder defensive-like Iím your property. But the minute your former partner shows up, it doesnít matter? Isnít that convenient."
Mulder sighed. "Look, I didnít want it to be.....uncomfortable between you and Diana. I thought if you didnít know our history, it would be better." He looked up at her. "Guess I was wrong."
"You got that right." There was a pause. With a sigh, she asked, "Were you ever going to tell me?"
He laughed embarassedly. "Not until it became absolutely necessary."
"And that would have been when, Mulder?"
"When hell froze over?"
That garnered him another dirty look.
He sighed. "I donít know. I just.........thought it would be better not to say anything."
"You werenít planning on me finding out, were you?"
He shook his head.
She sighed. "You say you trust me..........yet you withhold information like this from me because you just plain old donít want me to know. How can you expect me to trust you when you lie to me?"
He looked into her azure eyes and knew he had made a costly mistake. Standing up, he put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "I did it for you.....because I knew how it would affect you....us. The way we work. That it would seem like she was trying to get her place on the X-Files back." He smoothed her rumpled hair and smiled at her affectionately. "But she isnít. She canít replace you. Youíre the brains of this operation, Scully............without you, Iím just ĎSpookyí Mulder, chasing aliens with a gun and a badge."
"You still lied to me. You may have thought it was for the best, but a lie is still a lie." Her once impassive face was now wrought with emotion she tried to fight. She didnít want to seem weak or emotional, but her feeling of betrayal was too much for her to hide.
The pain in her eyes was almost too much for Mulder to take. Gently, he tucked her auburn hair behind her ear. "Iím so sorry, Scully," he said. "I didnít mean to lie to you. You have to believe me." He sighed. "You deserve more from me."
Despite herself, she smiled. "Could you repeat that for me? I donít think I heard you correctly."
"You deserve more from me, Scully," he said again, his voice serious. He looked deeply into her eyes. "Iíve already lost the X-Files.......in every sense of the word. I donít want to lose you as well."
She saw how serious he was, how much he meant those words, and was touched. "You wonít lose me, Mulder. Iím not going anywhere." Her voice was muffled as he hugged her tight against his chest.
"They wonít separate us," he said, his cheek resting against the top of her head. "If they know whatís good for them, theyíll keep us together."
Scully smiled. "Yeah.......nobody else will put up with you."
"Ouch, that hurt."
"Truth hurts, Mulder."
Reluctantly, he let go of her. "I think we know that better than anyone." He smiled, but his voice was humorless.
"Will you do me a favor?" Scullyís voice betrayed her calm, emotionless face.
"Tell me about Diana."
Mulder sighed as he sipped the cup of coffee Scully had made for him. "Where to begin?" he asked with a nervous laugh.
"How about the beginning?"
He looked over at her, sitting on the other end of the couch. "You sure about this, Scully?"
She nodded after a momentís hesitation.
He heaved another sigh and began. "Diana and I met at Quantico. We hit it off immediately. After our training, we were both assigned to the office here in Washington-she worked in domestic terrorism, I worked in the VCU. It was no surprise to anyone when we........became romantically involved. It wasnít too much later that two big things happened: I found the X-Files, and I married Diana."
Scullyís eyebrow shot up, but she didnít say a word.
"The marriage didnít last very long......The X-Files, searching for Samantha became my life......so much so that I neglected my marriage. We were only married for a few years when Diana asked for reassignment to the foreign terrorism unit and began divorce proceedings." He took a long swallow of coffee. "The other day was the first time I had seen her.......or even thought about her.......in years. You showed up about six months after the divorce was final."
Scully sat in silence. She could not think of anything to say.
"The partnership with Diana........it never really worked. She always just agreed with anything I said." He laughed. "Not exactly the makings of a great investigative team. I always felt like she was a yes-man...... I never had to push or fight for anything. There was never any.........challenge." At that comment, he gave Scully a pointed look.
The look was not lost on Scully. She smiled. "Challenge? How diplomatic of you."
Mulder laughed. "Yeah, well." After a moment of silence, he looked at her. "Who told you?"
"The Gunmen. I asked them when I gave them the MRIís we took of Gibson."
He nodded. "I should have known. I am sure they were just full of praise for her." Although his tone was sarcastic, he smiled.
"Letís just say that they found her........decidedly less charming than I did."
Scully smiled. "I can only assume that the feeling was mutual."
He nodded with a wry grin. "You could say that."
"Hope they donít feel that way about me."
Mulder laughed. "Come on, Scully......you know youíre the closest to a real, live woman who doesnít immediately discount them as paranoid computer-geek losers theyíll ever get. They might as well start a fan club for you."
"Thanks.....I think." She yawned and half-smiled at him.
He looked at his watch. "Itís late. I should be going."
She looked at her watch-3 am. As tired as she was, she didnít want to be alone. And she had a feeling he had come to her for the very same reason. Looking up at him, she said, "Why donít you stay here tonight, Mulder?"
His eyebrows went up. "Why Ms. Scully, are you trying to seduce me?"
She rolled her eyes. "Only in your dreams. Do you want to crash on my couch?"
He shrugged. "Sure."
Silently, Scully got up and went to her bedroom. A moment later she reappeared in the living room with a pair of sweat pants, which she threw at Mulder. "I think these belong to you."
Sure enough, they were his. "Hey, whereíd you get these?"
"You left them here when you took your little trip to New Mexico." She handed him a blanket and some pillows.
There was a moment of silence. Finally, Scully said "Well......good night, Mulder."
"Good night, Scully."
Scully lay in her bed, unable to sleep. She was desperate to fall asleep, knew she needed sleep in the worst way, but her brain was too busy to let her.
She had let Mulder off easy-almost too easy. But then again, he hadnít put up much of a fight. He hadnít denied anything, he had come clean when confronted, and he had done what she asked of him, without complaint. Maybe she had been easy on him, but he deserved a break occasionally.
She almost felt bad........he had looked so sad when talking about his marriage to Diana. Just another reason for him to feel like a failure, to feel like a loser. No wonder he had been acting so bizarre since Diana showed up- it was just one more reason for him to feel bd about himself. But from the looks of it, Diana was ready, willing, and able to give it another go with him........so why he was agonizing over all of this was a mystery.
There was some positive to all of this; Mulder had apologized, he had told her Diana would never take her place, and that he needed her by his side. And while the Gunmen werenít her favorite people, it was nice to know that they preferred her over Diana.
It was forty-five minutes later when Mulder silently padded into Scullyís room. "Scully?" he whispered.
"Iím up, Mulder."
"Did I wake you?"
"No." She sat up in bed. "Have a seat."
Noislessly, he walked over to the large bed and sat down next to her. "I canít sleep."
"I just canít stop thinking about what happened. It had to be him, Scully. He was the only one it could have been."
"Who else? Our friend Old Smokey."
Scully sighed and turned her head to look at him. All she could see was his profile, silhouetted by the light through the window. "Even if it is, weíll never get the evidence to prove it."
Mulder bowed his head, as though he had been defeated. "I know." After a momentís pause, he raised his head. "Itís almost funny...........this man controls our futures, knows the truths we are seeking, has the power to destroy us with just one word........and we donít even know his name." Mulder let out a dry laugh.
Scully reached out and took his hand. "Mulder-"
He turned to her, and even in the darkness she could see the tears in his eyes. "Weíre just pawns, Scully. Pawns in a game we stumbled into. All I ever wanted was to find Samantha......." his voice trailed off.
She hugged him as he cried silently into her shoulder. "I know, Mulder.......I know." She rubbed his back in an attempt to soothe him. Before she even knew it, an hour had passed, and she was drifting off to sleep.
As her eyes drifted shut, Scully realized that Mulder was fast asleep, his arms wrapped tightly around her in the same way a child hugs their favorite toy in their sleep. He needed this..........and she realized that she herself needed this closeness as well. They had been drifting apart; even though the circumstances has been less than ideal, they were finally closing the gap that had sprung up between them. Sighing, she allowed herself to drift of to sleep with her head nestled under Mulderís chin.